Bolts con DicE

I am looking for someone to attend this show/party as my stunt double this weekend. I can not attend due to cheapness and the desire to surf naked on a desolate beach. - With that said, the person to fill this position must have the following attributes. 1) Must love sportos 2) Must have facial hair (girls too) 3) Must be friends with the Wizard 4) Must be easily spaced and or freaked out 5) Must give man hugs to all my "biker" friends 6) And must have at least one "sun" tattoo - Said person will be compensated with DicE issue 41, food, and drink while supplies lasts. - If you feel you fit the bill, please send your resume to rouserworks@hotmail.com